Out there you don't hear the echoes and calls
The frenzied pace of a Mind inside the cell
Welcome to the gallery - a dim hall who's walls hold dear the memories of that once loved and lost. Step lively, and stray not - should you wander, we hold no accountability if you lose yourself to life's hard earned lessons. We are not responsible should you wander through a lifetime of mirrors.
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It was Freshman year, second semester.
A girl by the name of Caelyn C. Harper transferred to our school from Columbus - she was a resident of Wheeling for most of her life, but moved to Columbus when her mom remarried.
First time I met her was in my Japanese class, back in the days I had my Elvis hair. First thing my best friend and I said was "Holy shit, hello ass." She's one of the prettiest girls I've met.
I never made a move that year, but Sophomore year I started talking to her, flirting, upping the friendship status. It didn't take long for us to become really good friends - she was the female equivalent to my friend, Hayden. Hayd and I share the same brain waves, I swear, because there's nothing that we don't come up with at the same time. Finish each other sentences, etc - we'd be married if he was a chick. But that's how Caelyn and I were - are - and it made everything so perfect. And it was perfect - until one day, this fag in our class decided to date her just because he liked the idea of having the lust of Jap class for himself. I've hated Gary Greene from that day forth. He took from me the closest thing I would ever find to my other half. It depressed me for as long as I remember - well into my Junior year.
But I remained her friend - figured it was the best I could make off with at the time. And around Christmas the tables turned - in my favor, for once. She was fed up with Gary and his ways. She was sick of being ditched by him so he could go smoke pot - sick of him trying to control everything she did - sick of him driving away her closest friends with his overbearing control. We spoke more then than we ever did. We spent hours on the phone - hours on AIM - and when we weren't physically speaking, we conversed... almost mentally.
She understands how every layer of that which is me works - she knows how it functions as if she constructed it herself. She can pick my mind apart and know exactly what I'm thinking, feeling, and experiencing before I ever open my mouth. Audible conversation was never a necessity with Caelyn Harper. We could sit in a room not even looking at each other, and still know what either of us wanted to say. That Christmas was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. And it got better - we started hanging out at movies, at the house. My heart raced every time she kissed me - every iota of pain, every notion of sorrow vanished. "Like Heaven" had a new meaning for me. It was euphoric every time - never a moment like before. And when she said she loved me, my heart nearly burst. My life had never been so perfect. But.. good things don't last. It was the 18th of December - we'd been secretly seeing each other a few days shy of a month by now. It was a Tuesday... and she told me she was leaving Gary. She said it was over. And it was.
She broke up with him that morning with class... and not 20 minutes later she took him back - his faults, his abuse, and his crocodile tears. I crashed harder that day than I ever had. She asked me later that day if I was mad... and I wasn't. I told her I wasn't, and I meant it - I could never be mad at her. But all the life she instilled me with vanished when she took the devil back into her arms and left me in his shadow once again.
Second semester came around and I met Sarika. I stopped talking to Caelyn for a couple months - nothing more than a "Hey" or "How you doin?" Sarika and I started dating in May. Summer came and Caelyn slowly vanished from my life, and I had started to heal. It was the same story when we went back this year, our Senior year. We hardly spoke, but things had settled. I could talk to her and not feel a suffocating sense of despair. I could look at her holding his hand and not want to wreak havoc on his life. And I still feel that way. Whatever was there for Caelyn has been torn from my heart and locked away, the key to the safe lost for all time. I kept the good and threw away the decrepit memories. And that's how it's stayed. I feel no overwhelming attraction to Caelyn Harper anymore. The emotions are still there, but they've been tamed. I can still look at her and bask in the peace I feel when she smiles at me.
Caelyn is very spiritual. Not religious - just spiritual. She's a firm believer in karma, in past lives, in all things of the sort. And I respect her views - I've even adapted some to my own. She finds palm readings fascinating - I'm starting to, too, even if I don't really believe it whole heartedly. The past lives thing... I'm not big on reincarnation, or anything of the sort, but I'm starting to wonder. My.. theory, I suppose you can call it, relies heavily on such beliefs.
The way Caelyn and I know and understand each other is something... most people would give anything to experience. It's something that most people never find. The level of our mutual comprehension - and at THIS age - is something phenomenal. It sounds silly, but should the whole idea of past lives have some plausibility to it - I really do believe that we've known each other... for much, much, much longer than 4 short years. I feel as if I've known her for eons - lifetimes. If there are lives before our own, we were lovers. And maybe not just once before - maybe we have a record. I've loved her for all of them - and I think that's why I've been trying to so hard to secure her for my own all these highschool years. It's in my nature. But only for her. I'm simply trying to repeat history, but as it turns out, this time around is different. We've had our run and it was, apparently, time for a change. It's why I'm happy with Sarika - happy knowing Caelyn is ok, that she's content. At this point, we'd no longer be good for each other. We've done all we can for each other.
And I'm content with that knowledge. I still worry about her - I'm still tuned to her. I still feel the shockwave of when she cries. But it's done with. And now we're just very.. very good friends. And will probably remain as such.
It sounds crazy - foolish, even. But it's all that makes sense anymore.
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It was Freshman year, second semester.
A girl by the name of Caelyn C. Harper transferred to our school from Columbus - she was a resident of Wheeling for most of her life, but moved to Columbus when her mom remarried.
First time I met her was in my Japanese class, back in the days I had my Elvis hair. First thing my best friend and I said was "Holy shit, hello ass." She's one of the prettiest girls I've met.
I never made a move that year, but Sophomore year I started talking to her, flirting, upping the friendship status. It didn't take long for us to become really good friends - she was the female equivalent to my friend, Hayden. Hayd and I share the same brain waves, I swear, because there's nothing that we don't come up with at the same time. Finish each other sentences, etc - we'd be married if he was a chick. But that's how Caelyn and I were - are - and it made everything so perfect. And it was perfect - until one day, this fag in our class decided to date her just because he liked the idea of having the lust of Jap class for himself. I've hated Gary Greene from that day forth. He took from me the closest thing I would ever find to my other half. It depressed me for as long as I remember - well into my Junior year.
But I remained her friend - figured it was the best I could make off with at the time. And around Christmas the tables turned - in my favor, for once. She was fed up with Gary and his ways. She was sick of being ditched by him so he could go smoke pot - sick of him trying to control everything she did - sick of him driving away her closest friends with his overbearing control. We spoke more then than we ever did. We spent hours on the phone - hours on AIM - and when we weren't physically speaking, we conversed... almost mentally.
She understands how every layer of that which is me works - she knows how it functions as if she constructed it herself. She can pick my mind apart and know exactly what I'm thinking, feeling, and experiencing before I ever open my mouth. Audible conversation was never a necessity with Caelyn Harper. We could sit in a room not even looking at each other, and still know what either of us wanted to say. That Christmas was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. And it got better - we started hanging out at movies, at the house. My heart raced every time she kissed me - every iota of pain, every notion of sorrow vanished. "Like Heaven" had a new meaning for me. It was euphoric every time - never a moment like before. And when she said she loved me, my heart nearly burst. My life had never been so perfect. But.. good things don't last. It was the 18th of December - we'd been secretly seeing each other a few days shy of a month by now. It was a Tuesday... and she told me she was leaving Gary. She said it was over. And it was.
She broke up with him that morning with class... and not 20 minutes later she took him back - his faults, his abuse, and his crocodile tears. I crashed harder that day than I ever had. She asked me later that day if I was mad... and I wasn't. I told her I wasn't, and I meant it - I could never be mad at her. But all the life she instilled me with vanished when she took the devil back into her arms and left me in his shadow once again.
Second semester came around and I met Sarika. I stopped talking to Caelyn for a couple months - nothing more than a "Hey" or "How you doin?" Sarika and I started dating in May. Summer came and Caelyn slowly vanished from my life, and I had started to heal. It was the same story when we went back this year, our Senior year. We hardly spoke, but things had settled. I could talk to her and not feel a suffocating sense of despair. I could look at her holding his hand and not want to wreak havoc on his life. And I still feel that way. Whatever was there for Caelyn has been torn from my heart and locked away, the key to the safe lost for all time. I kept the good and threw away the decrepit memories. And that's how it's stayed. I feel no overwhelming attraction to Caelyn Harper anymore. The emotions are still there, but they've been tamed. I can still look at her and bask in the peace I feel when she smiles at me.
Caelyn is very spiritual. Not religious - just spiritual. She's a firm believer in karma, in past lives, in all things of the sort. And I respect her views - I've even adapted some to my own. She finds palm readings fascinating - I'm starting to, too, even if I don't really believe it whole heartedly. The past lives thing... I'm not big on reincarnation, or anything of the sort, but I'm starting to wonder. My.. theory, I suppose you can call it, relies heavily on such beliefs.
The way Caelyn and I know and understand each other is something... most people would give anything to experience. It's something that most people never find. The level of our mutual comprehension - and at THIS age - is something phenomenal. It sounds silly, but should the whole idea of past lives have some plausibility to it - I really do believe that we've known each other... for much, much, much longer than 4 short years. I feel as if I've known her for eons - lifetimes. If there are lives before our own, we were lovers. And maybe not just once before - maybe we have a record. I've loved her for all of them - and I think that's why I've been trying to so hard to secure her for my own all these highschool years. It's in my nature. But only for her. I'm simply trying to repeat history, but as it turns out, this time around is different. We've had our run and it was, apparently, time for a change. It's why I'm happy with Sarika - happy knowing Caelyn is ok, that she's content. At this point, we'd no longer be good for each other. We've done all we can for each other.
And I'm content with that knowledge. I still worry about her - I'm still tuned to her. I still feel the shockwave of when she cries. But it's done with. And now we're just very.. very good friends. And will probably remain as such.
It sounds crazy - foolish, even. But it's all that makes sense anymore.
